Listen Up Ladies !
It's about time us guys got together to make a stance...Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Women...These are our rules!.. ADHERE TO THEM!!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
3. If you think you're Fat, you probably are. Don't ask us
4. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
5. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it woman!!!
7. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
8. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
9. Crying is blackmail.
10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
11. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor baby.
12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
14. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
15. If it itches, it WILL be scratched. We do that.
16. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
17. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...honest baby.
19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as footy, cars, or the female nipple.
20. You have enough clothes.
21. You have too many shoes.
22. I am in shape...... ”Round” IS a shape!!
23. MAKE ME A GOD DAMN SANDWHICH! But what we really mean is, hey hunny, could you please make me a sandwhich? you mean the world to me.
Spread the word......
