The Most Special Woman in My Life :)

Nuraini Syafinaz bte Abdullah or Alison Too Siew Leng and also my mother. She's Special to me because she's one strong Single Mom that i've ever known. She raises me and my younger sister from young till now. She's the type of mother who does everything for her kids. From waking us up to school or work,washing our dirty clothes,preparing foods and evens boil those weird Chinese's herbs for us ;P

She's an English Home Tutor of a reading program call Smart Reader.She teaches at home every single day there is in a week. She's a type of lady who doesn't socialize her self much and prefers to just sit at home busy tidying up the house,preparing new syllabus for her students,watching lame TV shows,playing jigsaw puzzles,talks to my cat Snowbelle and is now still struggling herself to learn more about computers and internet. She sometimes keep herself comfort by going to Spas,Salons,Gym,getting her nails done etc all by herself. She doesn't have much close friends though that's the reason each time my friends comes to visit at my house,she'll be the most busy-body one ;P . She will come up with some weird topics suddenly and talk to my friends. And the funny things is,my friends seem to "layan" her too ;P And once or twice a year,the only holiday that she'll go is to Australia to visit my mom or some of her Australian so called Boy-Friends. ;P But im okay with it though as long as its a "mat-salleh" guy. I dont know why,maybe to me,in Malaysia there's no guy that can be good for her. :) But for whoever who hurts my mother's feeling,will be on my Murdering List. Seriously.
She sometimes gets too excited of something that she freaks out like she's gone totally whacked. Sometimes,she tries to be funny by saying stuff or doing but turns out to be really lame ;P
A person who eats a lot. But still maintain eyh Mi! :) A slow and NOOB driver too but has "gaya" driving wearing her sunglasses ;P Doesn't cook well,but her specialties in cooking are her spaghetti,"ayam masak kicap",ABC soup,"bihun Tom Yam","Pan-Mee",Sardines and Indo-Mee. HeeHeeHee ;P An she's an attractive women to men from other countries. I also dont know why lah! Well,whoever she is,she's my one and only Mother :)

I'm sad to say that im not a very good son to her. I've done so many sins and created so much problems for her. Yet,she's still here for me.. She's been there for me when im sick,when im feeling sad,weak and always gives me what i want.. Although most of the time she nags a lot. Really really much i might add. But everything she nags about has a cause. I must admit that i sometimes just cant stand of her repeating the same thing over and over again that i just cant control my anger by throwing bad words back at her.. I just dont know what got into me that i dare to yell that way at my mother.. But no matter how she nags,how much anger that i had at her,she'll be the one who will try to win me back and make me happy again. Sometimes,even by buying top up reloads for me. ;P

Mi,i just wanted to let u know how i feel about u.. I really DO love u a lot. Its just that my way of love to u is wrong.. You've always been kind to me,to my friends. And yet i dont even treat u like a mother.. I didn't even Salam u for Raya.. These are just some things that i regret and i can never turn back.. Im sorry for all the wrong doings and hurting ur feelings.. and also crashing ur car. All i ever wanted was to just be the Best for u and for u to be proud of calling me ur son to ur friends. One day mi.. Just u wait... I know i've been saying this for so many times,but i just cant do it yet.. I want to be the son that looks after his mother when she turns old. And I wouldn't mind at all to be a son who stay with his mother even when he's married. Because i know that you'll be a Great mother in law ;P But yeah,seriously. I want to be there for u like how u've been there for me too. Give me a chance Mi.. Never leave to Australia and leave me and Syeril behind... We need u here... I need u here... You know when i sometimes see Popo and watching how her kids treats her,some bad,and some good,it tells me,i want to be the best to look after u one day. And that u told me that u felt that Popo doesn't love u much,it hurts me deeply and i told my self that i'll love u even when u grow old..





Mi,i want u to know,that no matter what happens,u'll always be my only mother. And forgive me for being rude to u and gave u nothing but trouble. Remember that i'll always love u and that i'll prove it to u too one day to come...


Currently Listening To Mama (I Love You) by Spice Girls

Edy's Angels

Sarah Yasmin Begum (Sara)

Syazwanie (Wany)

Dzatil Fadhilah (Atyl)



These 3 Beautiful girls above are my bestest best Girl-Friends that i'd ever had. Lets talk about Sara,
I knew her since when we were in Standard 6 which makes us 12 years old at that time. I use to disturb her a lot but was actually a weird way of me to "tell" her that i had a crush on her ;P We use to hang out with each other often. As we grew elder,we were still good friends in secondary school. We'd always looked out for each other. Backing each other's backside. Mostly,she'll be the one who backs me up a lot. LOL .. She was always there for me when i have problems,and i know that i can only count on her and borrow a shoulder to cry on. She understands me well. Always there to cheer me up,make me laugh,make me feel just comfortable. As time passes,both of us grew up. And i had this feeling that me and Sara will never ever be more than friends. We love our friendship so much and we woudln't want to crush it. She's a friend who really look after me and always gives me advices that are really useful. But its kinda sad to say,we just can't be as close as before anymore. Sara here already have responsibilities to her baby girl named Qyra Helena Iman,and not to forget her beloved husband Ezad Asri (Kecik). Im honestly happy for her though. At least she had settled down. And im also kinda proud that im already like an uncle to Qyra. :) Sara i just wanted to tell you,that u're just the best friend that any human being will ever dreamed of. Love,And Miss You Much.. (Sarahh..kauu...kauu......hahaha!! kau sorang je yg fhm ape ni... ;P )

Now,lets talk about this crazy lil shorty girl name Wany. I first met her when i was working at the TGV CINEMAS in JUSCO CHERAS SELATAN back in the year 2007. At first i never even noticed her. Well,at that time i was like,never looked at a tudung girl before. hehe. But then,i cant remember how we became friends. The tudung girl that i thought was very soft-spoken,polite,gentle and staff turns out to be a really fierce,active,talkative but manje girl. haha. Well,i some time treat her bad,but its because that sometimes i forget that shes actually a girl ;P Wany is a great friend when it comes to listening. I just love to talk to her when im feeling lonely,when im feeling kinda down. She's a good friend to look for.. We were always crazy about karaoke,movies,and most importantly,Mc'Ds Chocotop Ice Cream. :)
And i'll feel really upset if she's sad,and so does she to me. We can share almost anything to each other. She's a girl where no one will dare to picks a fight with too ;P Well Wany,may our friendship last till the end of days yea!
Atyl. I knew her when i was studying in KOLEJ KOMUNITI HULU LANGAT along Jalan Semenyih which is located in Kajang. At the first few days of orientation,i Did noticed her but wasn't looking. She seems to be a quiet type of girl who only mind her own business. And again,i was Wrong. She's a very fun,happy go lucky,active,wacky type of girl that carved her name in everybody's minds. She's more like a guy most of the times,but deep down inside of her,there's a little angel hidden. She yells a lot in class,scolding the boys and its just like she owns the whole college. haha.atyl..atyl.. She did had a crush on me once though,but at that time i just wasn't ready for any kinds of fancy relationships,and i was more like a naughty boy doing what boys do best. haha. =D I do like her too,but it was just Love for a friend. But she understands though and we just pretend that none of our personal feelings for each other ever existed. She's really fun to hang out with,especially during Karaoke sessions. I just Love to hear her sing. My most favorite songs she sings that will be Di Penjara Janji by Awie Wings,Teringin by Shima,Sembilu by Ella and My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. She's also good at bowling! And i just love it when she calls me "cuk" or "mok". haha gedik en en.. ;P But,we dont contact each other much no more. Since after college,and each of us went separate ways. She's staying in Bangi and im here in Cheras,she's busy with her boyfriend which is my College Senior,who doesnt like Atyl to be friends with me. Hmm. Well,im pretty sure that one day we will bump into each other. AwwwW only GOD knows how much i miss you atyl! =')

Currently Listening To Friends Forever by Vitamin C

A lil some some u people might wanna know :)

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People (but don't say their names) :

1. I'm sorry for not being PERFECT.
2. You think u're funny but u're just making a fool out of yourself!
3. Please,dont u know where to get a toothbrush and toothpaste?
4. Damn u bitch. U aint worth it.
5. How could you do this to me? We were best friends before..
6. Hey there sugar,wanna make love some time?
7. No,im not for a relationship. Yet.
8. Yes. I do like you a lot. But its ur attitude that annoys me.
9. Now you're trying to win me back? Its just too late.
10.Admit it,im hotter than you Dude. haha =D

Nine things about myself :

1. I'm always Hungry.
2. I would rather text than talk.
3. I can be a real Dick to people who i dont like.
4. I'm always praying that this miserable life of mine would just go away.
5. I get annoyed very easily.
6. I'm sometimes a liar.
7. I share personal problems with my pet Cat.
8. I love to listen to people's confessions & problems.
9. I'm good in bed? ;P

Eight ways to win my heart (in no particular order) :

1. Be polite not only to me,but my friends and family.
2. Think of me although when im not thinking of you.
3. Treat me like how you want to be treated.
4. Be there for me no matter in what situation i am in.
5. Cares and understands me when im feeling down.
6. Be honest in every way. No secrets. No lies.
7. Just be yourself whenever u're with me.
8. Able to know me more than I know myself.

Seven things that cross my mind a lot :
(well actually there's plenty of zeros left after "seven")

1. Where can i get extra money?
2. Are UFOs Real?
3. When will i have a real true long lasting relationship?
4. What undies im gonna wear for tomorrow?
5. When will i ever be able to make my parents proud?
6. How is it like to die?
7. When will i just grow up?

Six things I do before I fall asleep :

1. Drink a glass of water.
2. Light up a cigarette.
3. Wash up.
4. Apply any lotions that are necessary.
5. Re-read text messages of the day in my cell.
6. Pray a bit.

Five people who mean a lot :

1. Daddy .
2. Mummy .
3. Sis Syeril .
4. Pet Cat Snowbelle .
5. A True Friend .

Four things your wearing right now :

1. Tank top.
2. Boxers.
3. Ring.
4. Blanket?

Three places that you would like to go:

1. Paris .
2. Amsterdam .
3. Australia .

Two things you want to do before you die :


1. Make my parents proud of me.
2. Be somebody who people respects.

One Dream : Where the World stops War,Cruelty and Brutality.

Currently Listening To Perfect by Simple Plan

What Is Love?

What is Love?

Some say that love is a wonderful thing,

Some say that love is just a game.

Well to me,love is everything..

But it can even be nothing.

Love isn't just about a relationship.

Love isn't just a word.

Love is for a person to know that no matter in what situation you are in,no matter who you are now or in the pass,no matter how u look like,there's always somebody who really cares and appreciates you than anything else in the world.

Love isn't complete by just saying " I Love You". It is just simply not enough if someone doesn't really understands the true meaning of love.

Love can always bring us joy. But sadly,even tears...

When someone says "I Love You" to a person,that someone must really be confident and dare to take risks.

Love can be really complicated sometimes.

Love hurts when we loves someone,knowing that the person we love doesn't even cares..

Love can bring us a bright future.

Love can bring us to a useless person in the future.

Love is sweet when it finally get discovered by a person.

Love is painful when someone has lost the feeling and meaning of love.

Love can be good and it can also be cruel..

Love can change a person from bad to better.

Love can even change a person from bad to worst..

It's just hard to understand the true meaning of love.

It only takes a minute to get a crush on someone,an hour to like someone,and a day to love someone,But it takes a lifetime to forget someone..

Love begins with a smile,grows with a kiss,ends with tears..

A sad thing about love is when you meet someone who means a lot to you,only to find out in the end that it was not meant to be and you just have to let go no matter how hard you try to get that someone back. That is what happened to me before..

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return,but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel..

Never make fun of love.Cause it will turn back to us one day and make us feel so hurt that we just felt like life has no meaning at all..

never listen of what people have been saying and never feel bad for someone that you'd loved before. Be strong and listen to your heart of what is best for yourself.

Dont ever play with love cause love is not a game in life,Love is everything in life..

Currently Listening To Forever In Love by Kenny G

Syeril Elena Binti Mohd Ridzwan

Ah Girlll!!!! i always shouted at my only sibling i have which is my lil sister :) i was always yelling and shouting at her almost all the time. And was always trying to pick up fights with her when we were kids.. I was also some times jealous of her for no reasons.. haha.. those days were the old days eyh girl? hehe..
Well,u're all grown up now.. and i cant call u "Mei Mei" already.. i just wanted to tell you how much i wish to tell you that i love you so much.. I've never been a good brother to you,i've always been a jerk in our family who is separated,but u are tough,discipline and smart.. u are a real dream lil sis that every brother ever dreamed of.. You were always there for the family..for me...
I just wanted to say that I'm Sorry and i promise to you that one day,i'll make u be proud to call me ur brother. I promise u girl...
And girl,i was too ego to tell u all this face to face. i just dont understand why.. maybe is because that im shy of u having a brother like me. I dont know how to show u that i love u but only to try to defend u from some of ur guy friends in silence... I just dont want u to end up to be like some of those i knew okay? Thats all i want from u. Nothing else..
Study hard,and make daddy and mummy proud of you. let them at least see someone in the family Graduate in University. That's all i want from you in my entire life.. i had a chance to do so but i just failed.. so now its ur chance and the only hope is on u now girl.. I'll always support u in no matter what u love to do..and u know it rite?.. I know u can.. And always remember,Koko always will Love you my dear lil sis... :')

Currently Listening to The Climb by Miley Cyrus

Natsha Shahira

Tasha. thats what i call her. She was a really good Myspace's friend of mine. And yes,i had a crush on her :) . Right after i broke up with my Ex girlfriend,i was so heartbroken and stuff but only Tasha makes me feel PEACE.. She gave me strength,spirit to move on.. And most of all,she makes me feel so comfortable that i never ever had felt with a girl ever before.. She was always online during my office hours when i was working at the Ministry Of Education in Putrajaya back in the year 2009..I wan always chit chatting with her by replying comments and messages.. we always talk about each other's lives,problems and also personal matters.. we shared almost Everything... but when time passes by,she seems different.. she rarely was online as always,she wasn't that happy go lucky girl as always.. I knew that something was wrong,i finally felt that its may be time to meet her up or even talk on the phone.. I just felt like i wanna know whats wrong and i wanted to be with her.. i gave her my number and asked her to contact me a.s.a.p . But she didnt. Never did till now..

I was just stunned and felt down again without her.. i felt that i just lost someone important in my life,again. The last message she sent to me was on the 28th of October Year 2009. and that message says
:"edy i off dulu..i kat hosptl ni..harini dah blh blk umah so nak kemas2 smtra pukl 4..take care dear..miss u".
After this message,i never heard of her..ever again.. I dont even have her contact number or address.. and she's in Singapore... She also has a home here in Malaysia somewhere in Damansara but she seldom comes..
But i never gave up and stop sending messages to her through Myspace hoping that one day,she'll read them...Just Hoping and Praying....

Tasha,i just want to say to you that u've been a Special girl in my life although we haven't met or even hear each other's voice before,but u gave something really special in my life that i'll never ever forget.. and im thankful of that.. I promise that i'll never ever forget about u.. And above all,i just wish,that One day,we can reconnect with each other again... i miss you Tasha..

Currently Listening To I Miss You Like Crazy by The Moffats

Raya 2010

well,its Raya.. and this year's Raya really sucks. the suckest Raya that i've ever had. i didnt manage to feel even a pinch of joy at all.. Why? cause my family's not. that only includes my dad,my sis,and me. the first day of Raya,and the first person who got sad,was my dad. he was damn broke. of all the other passed Raya,my family is the most"Bergaya" ones.We used to be the most wealthy family among the others. My dad used to buy loads of foods and other stuffs back to Opah. He also used to buy lots of firecrackers for my fellow lil cousins.. and he gave the most amount of "Duit Raya" money. my lil cousins will always be excited to "Beraya" with my dad which they call him "Pak Lang". and we are the only Town Living Family.. so we're like the most modern ones..
But sadly,those good memories of mine has just fade away into thin air this year.. everything turns bad. really bad. At first we even thought that we aint going back to Kampung this year because the only car that my father has left is a old Blue Saga Aeroback. and its already as old as it seems. My dad didn't gave up that easily.. to him,his family is like everything to him in the whole wide world. although he was already so broke at that time,yet he borrowed some cash from a friend to repair the car and still go back to Kampung for Raya.. During the first day of Raya,i can only see sadness in His eyes..
Its the first Raya that he didn't get to spend anything. He only bought himself a shaver for this year's Raya. we've got nothing...
And when the most favourite time of Raya for kids came,its was "Beraya" time.. and the lil kids were like everywhere searching for their uncles and aunties to collect their "Duit Raya".. and there sat my dad on a Rotan made chair. i can see him see his nieces and nephews were so happy collecting their "Duit Raya" but when they turned and looked at him,he can only look down like he wasn't watching... he was so down and so sad that he cant give his beloved nieces and nephews their "Duit Raya". and none of them even came and "Salam" him.. i felt for him so deeply at that time.. i went and sat next to him.. but i just didnt know what to say.. its kinda hard for me to start a MAN conversation with my dad.. But and then one of my elder cousin,Fahimin came and "Salam" him. after that he was just busy doing something else.. i just kneeled down and called my sis, : "hey girll!! we tak beraya with daddy lagi!". my lil sis came and kneeled after me.. i "Salam" my dad and hugged him.. and i knew,that there were tears in my dad's eyes..i was just too ego to have tears in mine... i had so many sins throughout this year.. throughout,my whole life.. but not once,i can just really change and make my dad happy...i felt like such a useless son to him on that day..
Not long after that,my dad,Fahimin and i went to my late "Atuk"'s graveyard.. usually we are the only ones who go and pay our respects every year.. i just dont understand why the others doesn't.. Zzzzzz.... When we arrived at Atuk's grave,me n Fahimin will use to pluck grasses and other staff around Atuk's grave to make it look neater and nicer.. since that none of us knows how to read the Yassin,we will just sit there around Atuk's tomb and say whatever we want to say to him in our hearts.. and my dad will always be the longest one... and i tell myself,i'll be like him when the day comes... i'm his only son.. and i'll always be there for him although when his not with me anymore..
Day third of Raya,we were already prepared to come back to KL..and i told my self on the journey,that may this Raya be the first and last Raya Memory that i have... I've had enough seeing my dad so embarresed of himself,dissapointed and sad to himself......no matter what he is,i'll always Love him with all my heart.....


Currently Listening To Musafir Di Hari Raya by S.Jibeng